In this strange new world we inhabit, I find solace in working with my clients (virtually, of course). What a welcome respite it is to spend an hour, or many hours, wrapped up in the lives of others—their hopes, their values, their concerns and fears. Putting my own self-absorption to the side, I can bring my whole self to just listen during our conversations. And being listened to during difficult times is a true comfort.
Solutions, solutions, everywhere
As a financial planner, I love coming up with solutions! But when I give my clients the space to talk, they often surface their own solutions. After all, they know themselves and their lives better than I ever will. Importantly, we are far more likely to actually follow through on the solutions that we’ve crafted ourselves. Sure, I provide input where clients need it. Spending all of my time thinking about personal finance, I probably am aware of a tool, practice or consequence they wouldn’t know of otherwise. Frequently, in the COVID-19 days, all I need to provide is reassurance: “yes, that sounds like a good move” or “yes, there will be life on the other side of this.” All they needed was a calm presence and to have their concerns heard.
We’re in this together
And all I needed was to make that human connection, to be there for these people about whom I care deeply. Make no mistake, it is frightening to have others look to you for reassurance in days like these. As Vanguard’s Michael DiJoseph said in a recent webinar, “People aren’t scared they’re losing money, they’re scared they’re losing their futures.” While we may quite literally dealing with fear of death, we also fear the loss of our dreams. Who knew that holding a friend’s hand or a date night at a restaurant would feel like a dream? So I repeatedly need to calm my own fears. I remind myself that I don’t need to know the details of the future or have all of the answers to help. I can be a steadying influence in turbulent times by being willing to calmly listen. A mindfulness practice is helping me be ready to listen. If you never have before, now may be the time to try meditation or mindful breathing—it really does work!
Help another, help yourself
When I’m calm and listening and I see my clients growing calmer and more relaxed, there is no better feeling! Being kind and of service to others is my value, my goal. I’m grateful for the moments when I approach it. In doing so, my own preoccupations, concerns and fears drop away. And I feel hope for our shared future. So during these days of physical distancing, I say “thank goodness for other people”!
“My salvation is being interested in others”
You can enjoy Dan Harris’ uplifting interview with the delightful Sylvia Boorstein here:
Ten Percent Happier Dan Harris with Sylvia Boorstein
These are challenging times for us all. Need to talk? I’m here to help! Give me a call (336-701-2612) or send me a message.
Investment advisor representative of and investment advisory services offered through Garrett Investment Advisors, LLC, a fee-only SEC registered investment advisor. Tel: (910) FEE-ONLY. Fair Winds Financial Advice may offer investment advisory services in the States of North Carolina and Texas and in other jurisdictions where exempted.