The good old days, driving my Miata at Carolina Motorsports Park.
Now that the initial anxiety of the pandemic has worn off—or maybe it has just worn us down so that we’re used to it, we’re all adjusting to this altered life. I’m fortunate to be able to shelter in place and continue my work virtually. But the fun things in life that I look forward to—traveling to new places, camping, visiting friends and family, going out to hear music and eat in restaurants, driving my Miata at the race track, hiking in parks where I may encounter other people—they’re all off of the table. Isn’t play still important?
Getting in touch with your playful self
COVID-19 forced me to do some soul-searching about play and what it means in my life. In the early weeks, watching movies and reading was enough. As I started to yearn for more, I coincidentally got to the chapter in Brigid Shulte’s Overwhelmed on play. She documents how, as adults, we tend to give up play. This is especially true for women. We view play as frivolous, something we need to earn, that we’ll do when everything else on our to-do list is checked off. Research shows that play, in fact, has a biological role. It helps us solve problems and bounce back from scary situations.
“The opposite of play isn’t work, it’s depression”
Play, it seems, has a critical role in maintaining sanity during challenging time…like these, for example. What, then, do you do if, like me, you’ve lost your usual outlets during COVID-19?
The explorer, circa 1971…when neither crisp photography nor smiling was a thing!
In his TED talk, Brown suggests that we look backward as far as we can in search of the most clear, joyful, playful image we have. Then build from the emotion of that image to connect with life today. I don’t have a lot of vivid childhood memories, but this one was surprisingly easy for me. In no time, I can recall how I loved to explore as a kid. I would take off on foot, either in the subdivision where my family lived or “in the hills”—the neighboring acreage on which a rancher ran cattle. My goal was to get lost—to end up someplace that I hadn’t seen before so I would then have to find my way back home. Looking for landmarks that I might recognize to orient myself was a wonderful part of the game. As a teenager, I extended my range by riding my horse. While my friends rode their horses in the arena, preparing for horse shows, I took my stubborn nag into the hills to explore new places.
Bringing it into the present
Talking about play with Ron, I found that he was drawn to these same kinds of activities as a child. We laughingly refer to ourselves as “explorers”. Having taken the time to remember this childhood joy changed the way we look at our current lives. Now we look for new places to check out on our weekly hikes, relishing the road less traveled and honoring our “explorer” natures. Right in our own backyard, we’ve stumbled across some wonderful new (to us) lightly used walking paths and historic ruins that capture our imaginations. Going out “exploring” is now the highlight of our week. And it is not only fun to do in the moment, but it provides a lift in spirits and joy that sticks around afterwards. Kind of like the afterglow of a great concert or visit with far-away friends.
What do you do for fun?
Dolphin joy is contagious! This one followed our sailboat in to Leinster Bay on St. John and waited around for us to get anchored so we could jump in the water and play.
Exploring is just one example and may very well not be yours. But where do you find your own joy? Maybe you loved playing with mud pies, writing or telling stories, building things, playing the trumpet, wrestling, playing dress up. What might you be able to incorporate back in to your life today, given our current constraints? Now more than ever, we need to make time for some lighthearted fun for our souls!
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